Enjoy.

Riddle Me This                                                                      

By LT Aaron Aschenbrenner, MH-60S

How far into this article are you going to read? Was it the aircraft that drew you in? The crafty title perhaps? Why do we read any of these stories? Ostensibly to learn from the mistakes or victories of others, but do we really take the lessons to heart? Could we simply be indulging our curious interest in the failings of others? 

hy do we write these articles? Do we really learn anything from the random alignment of other people’s stars that led to their near miss or flawless execution during that dual-engine flame-out? Couldn’t we save some money and just replace these articles with the obvious lessons contained in all of them: Don’t fly into the ground or water, pay attention, other folks can kill you too, know your systems, speak up, ask why, use your crew, you aren’t superman-hence the aircraft around you.

There you go, lessons that fixed wing and rotary folks can take something from. No more skipping that harrowing, but not particularly applicable night recovery to the back of an AFS (The ship that brings you food). Don’t we assume that helo guys skip the jet stories? Prop guys don’t care about autorotations. And just what catches the aircrew’s eyes? 

Why do we repeat stories whose lessons are self-evident?  Does anyone who has made it this far in life and this article take anything new from the fact that on a beautiful sunny afternoon in the Philippine Sea, I almost flew myself and four shipmates into the water for no other reason than I was stupid/arrogant/hubristic/over-confident enough to think that a descending left turn from 500 to 300 feet was the right time to start helping my copilot with some button pushing. Swear to God, I looked up, saw the water and was certain we were done. Even as I instinctively rolled wings level, pulled in power, and nosed it over just a touch, a chorus of “Power, power, power,” rang out.

Did someone reading the above just now realize, “Wow, I do that all the time, and maybe it isn’t so smart?” Now the usual, “Well, if it saves one person, or gets through to one person.” I guess that is a valid point, but still it doesn’t seem to necessitate a minute-by-minute explanation of that afternoon.

Is there a better way to reach people? Better than the shotgun approach, hoping that two or three “saved” per article per issue will add up to a decrease in mishaps? I don’t know. I just can’t shake that feeling of hollowness, where safety magazines are left about to present an atmosphere of “Safety always.” I suppose that is why we do safety surveys, and our favorite downward trending graph of mishaps would indicate that thinking about safety, implementing programs and controls, standardization, have made us safer members of the aviation community.

That being said, couldn’t we just make up harrowing adventures? What is the role of an Approach article? If we are just passing on lessons, society seems to get along with fables and myths as much as anything. Does the message mean that much more because a fellow P-3C pilot lost four engines? Don’t we just fall into the typical, “Glad it wasn’t me,” reaction? 

Maybe it’s like popular culture, where the constant exposure and repetition are the keys to slowly, but surely, getting the message across. Maybe it’s just cathartic for the author to share that moment of weakness, frailty, and fallibility, to remind the reader they too are not immune from—wait, why aren’t they?

I haven’t given you my entire bio. In all likelihood, you aren’t me, and we have little in common. Our stars aren’t the same; we don’t eat the same cheese. Maybe I was distracted with marital problems at the time. Maybe my bookie had been hassling me. Maybe I had been underachieving and was trying to show folks I could chew gum, pat my head, and dance a polka while making a descending right turn. Ah see, I went left; had I gone right, everything would have been fine.

Ultimately, the author figures out what message he wants to present, and then tells the story that way. Or, if it isn’t a flattering story maybe he doesn’t tell it. I think those stories are the key: The ones where we came up short of our own expectations and lived to tell about it. Being a band of highly compensated egomaniacs, who are trained and paid to do it all, and believe that anything, OK, most anything, is within the realm of our capabilities.

We need to be reminded that if we don’t watch it, if we don’t use CRM, if we don’t know our systems and consult the horoscope daily, we could be in for a hell of a surprise when we try to play submarine. Constant vigilance is tough. At the end of the day, we all make assessments as to when we can relax in the aircraft: Whether we are at the controls, or in back monitoring the sonobuoys. The only way we come home and make the landings equal takeoffs is by thinking, questioning, watching, aviating, navigating and communicating, and by using CRM—maybe all of these. At the very least, check what house the moon and Venus are in.

LT Aschenbrenner flies with HC-5.

First, lasagne is easy. Well simple in its make up. Layer of noodles, layer of sauce, layer of cheese, repeat.  Ingrediants: Lasagne noodles (2 pack), lots of cherry tomatoes, 1x red onion, 1x white, clove garlic, veg you can slice thin or other to put into sauce, meat (sausage, ground beef, whatever sounds good), 1 pt cottage cheese, 16 oz mozzerella, 2 bottles chianti or italian red wine of choice.

Noodles, well I don't bother making noodles. I'm too lazy. And I don't want to put all those noodle makers out of work. Be sure you start those first, they just take time.

Sauce, only question is meat or not. The base stays the same. Cherry tomatos, roasted in the oven (thanks, Aunt Liz). While they roast, chop as much garlic and onions as you like. At least 4 cloves garlic, I think. And one red and one white onion. Oil (olive, ev), garlic. Then onion. Then whatever other chopped veg you want (or meats if you want those). Maybe some peppers. Cook, then throw in tomatoes. Cook more, throw in some wine, reduce sauce, maybe some tomato paste to thicken if you are in a rush, otherwise, cook slow boil, til nice a thick, if it is runny, your lasagne will be runny.

While all that is cooking, I like to prep the veg that I slip in between the sauce and cheese. Thinly sliced zucchini, spinach leaf (not cooked, again, it'll just make it soupy, theres enough moisture to cook the spinach in place), thinly sliced egg plant (but you'll have to soak in oil and then roast, I've considered frying the eggplant, but just never followed through, probably no way to keep them crispy, maybe as last layer, just cheese on top, put in at last second).  Whatever thin layers of veg you can think of. Prep those and set aside.

Still reducing sauce, so do the cheese. Super easy. Mozzerella and cottage cheese. Grate the first then mix w/ second in big bowl. About 1 to 1. Bam, done.

Of course, you already cooked your noodles. So now you put it all together.

Noodles, sauce, thin veg, cheese, noodles, sauce, thin veg, cheese etc etc.

Cook at some temp, 375 F for 30 to 40 min.

Remove, let cool, must let cool to let it settle/not be so soupy.

Serve and enjoy.

Hey, great something that interests me, even sweet schools like LSE, King's College, School of Oriental African Studies, all in London, great place to launch research into real world challenges and to spin those into real work.  Of course what do I do in the mean time? Work at Taco Bell? Work some where for 6 mos? Or do a year plus and do the school later? You know, some real world experience and then a bit of study then back to work.

Ah life and its many paths. In this frosty season I guess it is appropriate to be conflicted about what path to take. Now which one is less trod...

I am reading "Founding Brothers". Great book about all the dudes you usually think about when talk turns to the American Revolution and the end of the 18th century.  But what has struck me is the story of the struggle to find a balance: individual v. group, agriculture v. commerce, progress v. tradition, state v. federal. 

Jumping ahead, we, the west, the developed world, we have never gotten "it" right. We lost so much, destroyed so much along the way, that one would be a bit out of it to stand up and say, what ho good souls, follow in my footsteps. And that's what bothers me about development aid, COIN and everything that goes into and comes out of the developed v. developing nation dialogue (or whatever you want to call it). There is no humility about what we've lost and about our failure to truly maintain balance (though one could argue we have indeed achieved balance, just can't seem to sustain it).

Developed nations assume that where they are today is where everyone should be.  But they miss two keys facts of history. 1) We did a bad job getting here (war, genocide, discrimination, extermination, subjugation, rape, pillage, etc), so that even if here is better in many ways than where we were, we should have some real questions about the process so that perhaps others can avoid those mistakes (and the endless ripple effects) and perhaps end up somewhere else.  2) historical progress is always about the periphary combining its traditions/ideas w/ the cores to make a better solution/status quo, which becomes the new core which feeds new frontiers, making new ideas, solidifying into the next core (perhaps layers of an onion are better), but thats the trajectory of human history, if you are in the current hardened (developed) area, chances are the other folks who aren't constrained by your historical baggage will be able to pick and choose from your current solutions to make the next best thing since pre sliced toast.

Even as we go around spreading education, human rights, commerce, light, sanitation, medicine, democracy etc, we absolutely need to engage people on the impact those ideas/changes had in our society. Peoples lives changed and it was tough, people had the chance to change and saw dissatisfaction, they changed then were dissatified again.  Progress is inherently about dissatisfaction, but if you don't know that before you head off down the road of making your children's live better, you won't take the time to a) come to terms with that, but also b) take steps to keep hold of the important parts of what you're leaving behind, so that separation is less painful.

Or not, obviously things are going great as they are. Time for a jog...

All entries begin with "Note to self" and close with "End note"

Not edited for content, so apologies as required

19 May 2009 to 20 August 2009

1. Name of band... Rakish Angle... First album... Nothing but good life decisions... 2nd album... Dialektic Affectation... pure gold, pure gold, put it in the bank, collect interest.

2. 3rd album... Snappy Retort

3. Remember thought, then record note. Some t-shirt idea... what was it? The problem with bottles is they're always empty.

4. Buy low, sell high

5. I don't know how to couch this... worst first day at work...Hi my name is Bob, I'm here to fill the executive assistant position...Oh, Bob, good to see you, you'll be working for my son. He's not very bright, so I need you to remove all the sharp edges from the paper.... Seriously... Ha ha ha, no, of course not, I have something much more demeaning for you.

6. Find out why toast is always in the pictures with cereal. Because toast is square and cereal is round? Because cereal is wet and toast is crunchy? Why is it?

7. Anti-busquing... you have a hat out, but your sign says "No money please, give to the needy"

8. Name of cleverly named tea parlor slash booze hall: Jacks Hi Tea

9. T shirt: My brother went to Champagne, France and all I got was this lousy Rehoboam.

10. T shirt: Nuv schmuz kapop

11. End yak hair pulling on your brothers ears, dont pull them dont pull them theyll turn into a crusade, youve got to close your eyes forever, this is a horrible end note, end note, end note, END THE NOTE...

12. Now, after you put on your yak haired hat, see previous note

13. What you thought was coming this way is not, what you thought was coming that way is not, what you thought was coming this way is going the otherway, and then the otherway is going this way. Point of order, have to clench my ass.

14. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about the sun on my left handside. I definitely feel like it is invading my private space. I used to be able to get up, well actually go to sleep, I mean drive home from work, and then sit down on my goddamn sofa, and the sun would be over here, right about 10 o'clock, but right now its like some goddamn time in the morning and the sun is over here to my left shining in my eye like like something bright and metaphorical cause its shining there. So any way I dont know how the sun and I are going to get along for the next few months, but I'll let you know.

15. Life is the expontential juggling act. By choice you're always adding more and more balls. The important thing is to realize you are adding those balls and not to resent the balls, you can keep them all up, but it takes energy, dont resent the amount of energy it takes, as you grow you have more and more energy, you only add balls when you're ready for it, the mistake is to add balls when you aren't ready for it. that's the exponential juggling act. Call Oprah, book show.

16. Tom Hopkins, Mr. Whippy, Ted, I am an idiot... rebegin note... TED Hopkins, Mr. Whippy, in the pink SUV limousine with sparkles, going to the hotel bessamer for carvery night, got lost, and were saved by the harp playing devotee of Mike Huckabee. add necrophiliac homosexual duck.

17. Armitage Shanks went to Twifords, zurn, chifauco

18. Yoga, hips, uhh feet, hips, hands together, start w/ chest thrust, and then cross arms, crossing the arms, open the arms, its a... its a... elbows back, crossing arms, arms wide, cross arms, elbows back, and then there's a twist, twist with a push, twist to your left push through with right arm, twist to right push through with left, do that, accelerate.

19. Title of the show: Enjoy it all. No... Just enjoy it all... any show title has to be pithy... Enjoy it all.

20. 1 degree of separation. You have to break through one degree of separation.

21. Investigate possibility that Scamozzi killed Palladio or that video killed the radio star.

22. Louis Niente.

23. Ideal Standard, Pozzi Genori

24. The challenge is knowing whether or not you are going to spend your life with a person or with an emotion, if you want to spend your life with an emotion then you'll constantly be changing people, if you want to spend your life with a person, then it is regardless of the emotions, cause the emotions will always change, and develop and change, not bad or good, just change, and thats the trick to figure out.

25. T shirt: You really shouldn't smoke, it's not as glamorous as I make it out to be.

26. Holy shit, I am totally out of touch with the world, asra, quanta, winston, that's tuwan talking man, out...

Ok, so I haven't been throwing that much out. My girlfriend has gone to Wales to get smart and do stuff with her life, so I've been watching her sort and hauling stuff down stairs. Inspirational and painful to watch at the same time.

I guess mostly inspirational, cause when it came time to do something with my rickety but beloved faux leather and wood pre-historic lazy boy... I pulled the trigger and put her down. It was tough. Could have cobbled something together, given her a few more years. Or one. But there comes a time when the cycle of life must continue and the comfy chair (actually it never was that comfy) must return from whence it came: the oak tree, the pleather fields and the random metal and stuffing bushes of the Dakotas.

But the hardest thing was throwing away books. I tried so hard to find them a home. One place didn't exist anymore, two more said no. if it wasn't for being auto-less and having a broken collarbone, I'd have lugged them around for years to come. But they were in German and deserving of their fate in that they were the real fillers of my girlfriend's book ensemble (though now I'll never know the childhood frolics of Willie Brandt). I balanced the two sacks on my handle bars and biked to one last hope... but no, no used books here. With a heavy heart I returned home and flung them unceremoniously in the paper recycling bin. 

I'm still depressed, even now... almost an hour later, after schmalzbrot and some cereal and yogurt.

But I'll survive, the cycle continues and now I'm prepared to face any situations requiring a headlamp, personalized stationary with footprints, childrens stories in German on cassette or even an empty plastic box... about yea big, nice lid, sturdy...

In the intervening weeks, I'm a bit distracted, but I finally got around to splitting that 30 min video up into chunks to put on youtube, which I just finished last night.

Without further ado, grab some popcorn, tivo that rerun you were going to watch and enjoy 30 minutes of Aschenbrothers blather:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrYXFEFEcL8

Now here are some cursory summaries (no spoilers) and reviews...

Shopping for Porcupine (Seth Kantner)- The non-fiction musings on growing up in Alaska from the author of "Ordinary Wolves".  Very enjoyable, only downside is if you grew up in Alaska and it wasn't like this, might give you a complex.  If you aren't from Alaska, definitely read, but don't be all disappointed that "Alaskans" didn't all have the same childhood. Trombone lugging at 40 below is tough too.

Counterinsurgency Warfare: Theory and Practice (David Galula)- A French soldier with much experience fighting insurgents in the last days of France's colonial glory (or inglory), Galula provides much needed lessons learned for future counter insurgents. Too bad his book was written back in 1964 in French. Of course the miracle of science has preserved this book and it is available quite easily today.  Pretty much the short (99 pages) version of the just released Army/Marine Corps Counterinsurgency Doctrine (300+ pages), recommended for peacemongers only.

Bread and Jam for Frances (Russell Hoban, illustrated by Lillian Hoban)- On a visit to Hamburg back in July, my girlfriend Fransi showed me a childhood book of hers called "Bettzeit fuer Fransi". I immediately recognized the little badger who was always going her own way until her parents gently got her back on track.  Not having time to run home to raid my mother's bookshelves, I availed my self of Amazon's selection and got B&J for Frances. The Hoban team does an amazing job of capturing Frances' struggle to overcome her addiction to bread and jam and nothing highlights her plight like the delightful little songs she sings as she rockets down the rollercoaster of life.  Good for kids and childish adults alike.  PS: Hoban is also the author of the Captain Najork series.

Flashman in the Great Game (George MacDonald Fraser)- If you don't know Flashman, check him out. Always a good adventure, lots of sticky situations, all stuck in a nice package of real historical events.  Only two complaints, the term "The Great Game" traditionally refers to the English/Russia struggle for Afghanistan/Central Asia and the northern borders of India, this book is about the Sepoy Rebellion of 1857 and the only Russian involvement is the Russian agent Flashy is supposed to deal with when he is sent back to India. Good enough I suppose, but I was hoping for a more Afghan story mostly because McD-F does an excellent job in presenting the historical background for all his Flashy books. Other complaint is more a warning for future Flashman readers, if you can't handle colorful, bawdy, culturally insensitive dialogue reminiscent of the less enlightened yesteryears, don't read Flash. 

The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao (Junot Diaz)- This was another Jeff recommendation.  It has been almost a month since I finished this book. It went fast as Jeff said, the book and the month since. What I liked most was the juxtaposition of New York and the Dominican Republic as settings for the the BWL of Oscar Wao. Pernicious evil versus hope, sweet new Spanish swear words (better for awareness that application probably), but the bottomline is I liked it and it won a Pulitzer, so go read it.

The Accidental Guerrilla (David Kilcullen)- Aussie Kilcullen has been advising the US on how to win in Iraq and Afghanistan for the past 5 years or so and this book is the culmination of his own experiences before that and his work since being sent on loan to the DOD.   The basic premise of an outside presence meant to bring stability being more often destabilizing is interesting, particularly in the context of our current battles (not that he concludes we should run away).  The core of the book is a discussion of applied counterinsurgency and that is really where the grist for the mill gets delivered.  The value of AG is not that it is new or truly insightful, but it does wrap together many strands of CI thought and present a current picture of where we are and where we need to be in assessing and handling both the AG and the more committed fighters out in the world.  Worth the time if you are into CI or the current state of the Global War on Terror.

And now the highlight of my summer...

Daniel Deronda (George Eliot)- I had a clever comparision between War and Peace and DD cause they are both long. But WP is almost twice as long. My summer achievement was a sham. But DD was still fun.  Ben gave me this book some Christmas' ago, I always wondered why. I still do. It is about a young Englishman finding himself (ok perhaps appropo) through his assistance to two young ladies, one he loves but can't have, the other he is fascinated by, but doesn't love (not related to me or my past). Now it was originally a serial and remember back in the 1870's they didn't have TV or twitter so they had more time in the evenings. Time during which to read endless psychological excavations of characters in a book. I skipped over some of them. But when it comes to the storyline and dialogue, all good, very fun and even with a two week break (couldn't drag it to Maine, too many baggage limitations), really enjoyed plowing through it. So, if you only read one book next summer, make it Daniel Deronda and you can pelt me w/ stale rolls if you don't leave happy. PS: It took me two false starts to get going, the beginning drags a bit, but stay the course and you'll get your money's worth.

That's what I did w/ my summer break. Check back next time for how to do laundry in a land with no laundromats.

Aaron: Unemployed, in Stuttgart, waiting on DOS/USAID job apps, rugby season has started.

Nathan: Student, starts Classical Language program at Georgetown 31 August. 9 mos, then...

Ben: In Seattle, looking for a cunning plan, rugby season has also started.

If we've seen you recently, it was awesome, if we haven't, we wish we had and fingers crossed that paths will cross sooner rather than later.

Bam, blog, check please.

1930: Leave. See train, run. Get on train.

1932: On the wrong train. Get off. Call Naba, talk about Red Square. In Seattle. At UW.

1938: On the right train.

1939: Right train goes the wrong way. Get off.

1940: Get off, walk towards Schloss Platz. Call Deborah.

1950: Done talking to Deborah, wedding next year, hit Saturn.

1952: Cant find movie.

1953: Ask if they have Das Parfum. They do, Grab it. Hit check out. Remember extension for fan. Grab it. Hit check out again.

1955: Pay. Out. Mission Complete. Call anytime, anywhere, missions  completed without question.

2005: Home in time for the happy place. 

So my days in the Navy are done.  I'm on terminal leave/vacation and on 3 June I'll wake up unemployed. For now my cunning plan is 5 mos of vacation here in Germany, some weddings, rugby trips, beard growing and tan deepening.  I've joined Nathan on the not shaving for 12 mos bandwagon, so we'll see if I get arrested for posing as a homeless guy here in a few months.  My goal right now is to land a job with USAID or the UN doing some kind of mud hut building project management, something to get me out into the world cause after 4 years behind a desk I'm a little desked out.  Picked up "3 cups of tea" by Greg Mortenson in SD and his story of building schools in Pakistan has only reinforced my desire to get involved in that side of making a difference.  So by October I should be back to work somewhere doing something. He said in a hopeful tone.  In the mean time, I'll be posting deep thoughts here, enjoying my drausen sofa (outside sofa) and wishing everyone a wonderful summer.